[Zoe] The great thing about New York is you can run
into anyone anywhere.
No, she does not.
Seriously.
She paints her face with egg.
- Ew. - Puts two cucumber slices on her eyes
and rubs beet roots on her lips.
Oh, my God, it must have been like you
were sleeping with a salad bar.
[both laughing]
Yes, it was.
[Zoe] This is Curtis.
I met him when I was getting my morning latte.
He's a tall nonfat mocha,
and I ain't talking about his coffee.
Well, enough about my ex.
Your turn.
Well, I sort of made it a policy not to talk about my ex,
but you're gonna find out eventually, so here it goes.
I was married to Gemini Moon.
The... Olympic Gold Medalist?
The world champion boxer?
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't really follow boxing.
The Hanes His Way commercial.
And I don't wear underwear.
Oh, good to know. [chuckling]
Wow, I'm so relieved.
I mean, a lot of the guys I go out with are all about my ex.
Well, I'm all about you.
Aww.
You're so sweet.
You know, when you asked me out...
Hold up. Is that Serena Williams?
Where?
I gotta get a picture with her.
I'm sorry. Come with me.
I need you to take the picture.
[Zoe] The bad thing about dating in New York
is you can run into anyone, anywhere.
♪ Zoe ever after ♪
♪
[punching]
What's wrong with you?
You think you can just have your way with a girl
and not return her calls?
Why would I call somebody back who tried to ruin my reputation?
You didn't like the documentary.
You mean the fluff piece that you did on Juarez
and the hatchet job you did on me?
You punked me in front of millions of people and my son!
I trusted you.
As a journalist, I have a responsibility
to deliver the truth.
And were you delivering the truth
when you were lying on your back screaming,
"Oh, give it to me, Champ!"
What happened between you and me,
it has nothing to do with my story.
You played me
and I was fool enough to let my guard down,
but lesson learned.
♪
Good morning, good people.
Okay, we got a lot of business to discuss this morning,
so let's start with the new campaign.
Where's Pearly?
- Pearly? Yeah. - Yeah.
She's at a funeral for her uncle, poor thing.
Here you go.
She didn't tell me her uncle died.
Well, they weren't very close.
He was once removed and twice deported.
Hmm.
Who has a funeral at 8:00 in the morning?
He was an early riser.
How ironic, now he's getting all them worms,
but can't do nothing with 'em.
Hallelujah.
Okay. [hammering]
Miguel, can you stop with the hammering?
I'm trying to have a meeting.
Sorry.
[drilling] Miguel!
What?
You didn't say anything about the drill.
Be a good contractor
and play with your toys in another room, please.
- Thanks. - Play?
Okay. As you all know,
our new Golden Gloves nail lacquer is about to drop,
but if we don't land a major department store account
within the next month,
we all may end up working in one, okay?
So...
Sorry I'm late.
I'll be there soon.
Go on. I can hear you from here.
Go, go, go.
Funeral my ass.
What?
Her uncle was a rapper in the '80s.
As I was saying, where are we with Macy's?
I have some great news.
What? You and the rest of Run DMC are getting back together?
[laughing]
I mean, ow.
I was able to get you a meeting with Melanie Foster.
She's a distributor who sells to all the majors,
including Macy's.
Oh, my goodness, I love Macy's.
Ever since I saw "Miracle on 34th Street,"
my favorite holiday movie.
- It's so beautiful. - Eh.
I'm more of a "Home Alone" guy, myself.
Guys, this is very fascinating,
but we need to focus on our work,
selling our cosmetics, and you need to focus on your work,
using power drills and inhaling asbestos.
And out of curiosity, when is that work gonna be done
so we can plan your bye-bye party?
Um...
Well, look.
If you wanted shoddy work,
then you should have called Rivero Construction,
but your husband hired me,
the best contractor in the tri-state area.
Three years running.
Yelp's words. Not mine.
I'm sorry, I stopped listening when you didn't say Tuesday.
I stopped when you said good morning.
[Pearl] Ooh!
- Excuse me? - Nothing.
Oh.
The honeymoon is over.
All right, getting back to the distributor.
Okay, I worked on some talking points for your pitch.
I'll go get it now.
[groans]
No. Still can't.
Why don't we reconvene after Pearl's IcyHot's kicked in?
Back in ten.
You still dating that tri-athlete dude?
I mean, doesn't he know you a try-not-to-break-a-sweat
kinda chick?
I stole that from Valent�.
Hey!
Look, all the horrible hiking, backbreaking biking
and soul-crushing swimming is paying off,
because the other night, Jeremy...
That's his Christian name...
and I were walking past a jewelry store
and he asked me what kind of ring I like.
Oh! Three carats, cushion cut, Yetwo simple baguettes.
A boy can dream, can't he?
- Pearl. - Yes.
Now, you know, I fully support
your mission to find love,
but I'm gonna need you to find it
before the 8:00 a.m. staff meeting.
Now, let's discuss the pitch in my office.
I need some really jazzy mock-ups for the ad campaign
we're planning.
[Pearl groaning]
Pearl?
I'm gonna text you.
Boop-boop-boop boop-boop-boop...
♪ Zoe ♪
Are you absolutely sure you don't need me to stay?
Yes, I want Melanie to know
that this is not just a brand, this is my brand.
So go handle your business and I'll take care of this business,
and if anybody ask you where you going,
tell them it's none of they business.
It's none of your business. None of it.
None of it. So...
Is this just another booty call or does Mr. Buff
have something else up his sleeve?
[Zoe] Mm. I don't know,
the whole thing was very last minute.
He's definitely up to something.
He said he had to meet me this afternoon and he told me
not to wear any jewelry, so you know what that means.
He questions your taste in statement necklaces?
Uh, here's a statement.
Go to reception and wait for Ms. Foster.
All right, yeah.
If today goes as planned,
you're going to land a major account
and I am going to land a husband.
Yes. And if we fail,
we meet at the club and drink until we can't see straight.
And if we succeed, we meet at the club
and drink until we can't see straight.
- That's what we do. - That's good.
My goodness.
Hi!
I'm Melanie Foster.
I have an appointment with Zoe Moon.
Well! My timing hasn't been this perfect since I happened
to find myself in the same men's room as Michael Sam.
[chuckles]
Talk about a tight end.
Can we keep this moving?
I'm getting Rolfed at 4:00.
Oh, good for you.
It's a type of massage therapy.
Yeah, call it whatever you want, honey.
No judgments here.
Zoe Moon, Melanie Foster.
Melanie.
Lovely to meet you.
This is such a fantastic opportunity for us.
For me, for me as Zoe Moon Cosmetics.
For me, Zoe Moon, the person. Ooh, sorry.
Who owns Zoe Moon Cosmetics,
so yes, basically, it's all of us and one of me.
Uh, why don't you have a seat?
- Thank you. - Yeah.
So, uh, one of my buyers has tried some of your samples
and been raving about your products.
That's great.
I'm always worried the girls we hired to hand out samples just
give 'em to their friends and go out drinking,
you know what I'm saying?
No, not really.
Can we move this along?
She's getting Rolfed at 4:00.
Okay, uh, Ms. Foster,
our company is focused on products for women of color.
We want to empower them by giving them products designed
specifically to meet their needs.
Think of it as for colored girls who consider blue eye shadow
when the rainbow was not enough.
We've got shades for every tone of black woman.
From high yellow to 85% deep dark chocolate.
[Zoe] Uh, Valent�?
Why don't you go take lunch?
Preferably someplace far away.
Apologies for my overzealous assistant.
We're just all so excited to work with your company.
Just some backstory for you.
Three years ago, I started with a lipstick line, but then we
started trending with a few top stylists.
Now we've gone from one thing to everything.
Products at the fine stores you work with we'll see
flying out of the doors once you put 'em on their shelves.
And what kind of advertising campaign do you have?
I hear that you're in talks with Lupita Nyong'o.
Uh, well, we're actually in talks to have talks with, uh,
Miss Nyong'o.
So you don't have a spokesmodel?
Not officially, but once we do, we're gonna be full speed ahead
with a huge campaign introducing...
Golden Gloves nail lacquer that will knock your pumps off.
Let me show you the boards.
The thing is, people don't buy products for the concept,
they buy for the personality.
If you don't have a personality to sell the concept,
your product is DOA.
OMG.
I mean, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.
Here's what I was thinking.
Your product is called Golden Gloves nail lacquer.
Why aren't you using Gemini?
- Gemini who? - Your husband.
- Ex-husband. - Whatever.
Once you have him, you put any model in the ad,
it won't matter.
Listen...
Gemini was involved when I started the company,
but he's not a thing anymore, and neither are we.
Now, my company is about female empowerment.
What's more empowering than a beautiful model
knocking out the champ?
You need a spokesperson who can get attention.
You let me know when you've got Gemini on board,
because if you can't, we can't do anything here.
Well, can I at least show you a few of the boards?
One of them? A half?
[Zoe] What do you want?
Just a heads up.
I need to shut the power off tomorrow
for about an hour or so.
Is that a good time or...
You might as well pull the plug now for all I care.
Cool, that'll put me ahead of schedule.
Yo, pull the plug.
This big distributor that sells to Macy's wants me to get Gemini
to be a part of the ad campaign.
Gemini!
He doesn't even wear makeup.
[clattering] Yo! Yo, yo!
Don't pull the plug.
Gemini is not even a part of this company.
This is my company!
This is my office, and this is my desk!
Do you see his desk? No!
'Cause he doesn't have a desk.
No.
You just gonna stare at me like I'm in a museum?
Well, you are a piece of work.
Um... Look.
Do you want to know what I would do if I were you?
I don't want to know.
- No, I want to know. No, I don't. - Okay.
Do I? No. I don't know.
Well, if this distributor could up your sales big time,
wouldn't that be worth it?
Yes. No.
Well...
I'm just gonna keep my questions rhetorical.
I don't know how I feel about anything anymore.
You keep saying that you're over your ex-husband.
Is that true?
Yes.
Well, then don't make this about feelings,
make it about business.
Your business.
Look, I've been there.
Trust me.
When I started my company,
we only serviced to one state area.
Then this big contract came up and I needed my cousin Raul's
trucking company so I could come in with the best bid.
And?
And... Raul is a dick.
But you bit the bullet and asked him for help and...
everything worked out.
No.
I told Raul to go screw himself and his trucks.
And if he ever looked at my girlfriend...
my ex-girlfriend, again,
then I would kick him in the nuts.
[Zoe laughing]
But see, it took me another five years to expand.
So don't be like me.
Don't make this about the relationship.
Make it about your business.
But if you ever run into Raul,
you have my permission to kick him in Las bolas.
Kick him up the bolas.
- [laughing] - Yes. It's Spanish for nuts.
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
This place is booked months in advance,
but my friend did me a favor
- 'cause I wanted to share this with you. - [whining]
I'm all about sharing.
It's the climbing I'm not so sure about.
Pearl.
I wouldn't let anything happen to you.
You wouldn't?
This wall is perfectly safe.
- [man screaming] - Oh, God!
[clearing throat]
Chances are he jumped.
You've got to challenge yourself, Pearl.
Step outside of that comfort zone.
Oh.
Don't you want to be the best version of yourself?
What you doing? Here in this mountain.
- Come on, Let's do this, all right? - Let's do this.
- Come on. - Okay, I'm coming.
I'm getting up there.
Oh...
If there's not an engagement ring at the top of this wall,
he's gonna see the angry heifer version of me.
♪ Here we go let's go stand up... ♪
The hell do you want?
Mm, is that the way you greet the mother of your only child?
That I know about.
Uh, how's the training going?
It's going.
Looking good there.
You stinging like a butterfly and floating like a bee.
My arteries are hardening from all the butter.
Why don't you just tell me what you want.
Oh. Well...
Um, I'm trying to land this big distributor
for our new Golden Gloves
nail line and the deal is so close,
I can almost taste the lip gloss.
But...
And I'm punctuating that with a dollar sign.
No, this is not about money.
It's just that they will only do the deal
if you agree to be in the ad campaign.
So, you seriously think
that I should help you out,
after you made me look like a washed-up boxer
with no family in that documentary?
I don't think so, Boo-boo.
Listen.
I'm not coming to you as Zoe Moon, your ex wife.
I'm coming to you as CEO of Zoe Moon Cosmetics.
You should look at the settlement you gave me
as an investment in the company.
I mean, it is in your best interest that you make sure
that this company succeeds.
This is not about our personal relationship.
This is about business.
Ooh.
Yeah, well...
my business is boxing, which you put
into serious jeopardy when you don't support me.
How can I support you when you show up at my house unannounced
and expect me to do an interview
with a woman you used to sleep with?
Here you go.
I told you, nothing happened between me and Ashley back then.
And I told...
Wait... wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.
What you mean "back then"?
Huh, who? Nah.
Gemini.
What do you mean back then?
See, Zoe, this... this is how you do.
What?
You want to be exes when it's convenient for you.
But you can't have it both ways.
You told me to let you do you.
Why don't you let me do me?
And whoever the hell else it is I feel like doing.
You been doing you.
But you know what?
I don't need you or your nasty ass nowhere near my company.
Forget you and the ad campaign.
I'm gonna check to see if Juarez is available.
Yeah, well, you better get him now
while he's still got all his teeth.
♪
Yeah-yeah-yeah!
Ugh, I'm coming!
[grunting]
[woeful laughing] Oh, God...
Come on, babe.
You need to keep climbing if you want to get to
the promised land, all right?
See you at the top.
[panting, grunts]
I have seen the promised land,
and I may not get there with you.
Oh, God.
Oh, hell.
Come on, girl. You got this.
Ain't no mountain high enough for three carats.
[grunting]
[muttering]
[hysterical laughter]
[groaning, screaming, loud thud]
[Pearl groans]
Can you hear me, Pearl?
Pearl?
[Pearl] I must have died and gone to heaven.
I was right.
Jesus is black.
Oh, no, you're fine.
You just got the wind knocked out of you.
What happened?
Your boyfriend said that you fell off the wall.
Oh, that's what I get for trying
to be the best version of myself.
Well, I don't see anything wrong with the version
that I'm looking at right now.
[Jeremy] Oh, good, you're okay.
Oh, God!
It's gonna be much easier the second time, I promise.
She's okay, right? All right, look, Jeremy.
I'm not going up that rope again.
Not now, not ever.
- What? - I don't want to bike with you,
I don't want to swim with you,
I don't want to sweat to the oldies with you
or anything else,
because the best version of me is this version of me.
Bye, Felipe!
Get out!
Wow, a woman with a backbone and a backside.
Well, maybe we should go to your ambulance,
so you can check my vitals.
Be glad to.
Yeah. Oh!
♪
Oh, really, Pearl, I'm happy for you.
Thank you. You found love with a paramedic
and my business needs one.
Oh, come on, Z.
Don't worry, we'll find a spokesmodel.
If we don't get Lupita, we'll find someone else.
They'll probably only agree to do it if Gemini
- does it with them. - Mm.
He was right.
This company was a stupid idea.
Uh-oh.
You just said Gemini was right, which can only mean that they
put house gin in your martini, or it's the end of days,
which actually is the same thing.
Pearl, if we don't land some big department store account soon,
your Christmas bonus is gonna be an Uber
to the unemployment office.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Then we do have a problem.
After my November nuptials,
I was planning a holiday honeymoon,
and I will not let this fly in the ointment
ruin my fly vacay.
We gotta find someone else.
Well, where are we gonna find somebody to be the fresh
new face who hasn't saturated the market?
Someone beautiful, youthful, relatable?
Those kind of people don't come around every day, Pearl.
[woman] Excuse me.
Are you Zoe Moon?
The one with the cosmetics company?
For now.
Hi, I'm Jordin Sparks.
- I know, I'm a huge fan. - Thank you.
- I'm such a fan. - Thank you.
I'm a huge fan of your products,
I got some in a gift bag
at a premiere recently.
Your Go Ahead and Make Me Blush blush is amazing,
I would love to get some more.
This isn't really a business thing we're doing here.
This is more like an intervention.
Okay, well, you have a great night.
You too.
[Pearl] Bye, Jordin.
She's so cute.
Anyway, so where were we...
Zoe, here's a little pearl of wisdom for you.
- Oh... - Yes.
If Jordin Sparks approaches you at a bar
and tells you that she loves all your products,
you ask her to be your spokesmodel.
Right!
[Zoe] Like I said, the great thing about New York
is you can run into anyone, anywhere,
even your next spokesmodel.
Yes!
♪ I'm a model ♪
♪ Call the photographer ♪
[all] Yes.
[Zoe] Get it, Jordin Sparks! Word!
♪ I'm a model ♪
♪ Millionaire popstar... ♪
Beautiful spokesmodel, check.
The next stop, Macy's.
You know what, Team Z?
All in all, I think we're doing pretty well.
Yes. Pop that champagne, Valent�.
Okay.
[Zoe] Ooh!
Let's try not to kill our spokesperson.
Sure, sure.
Just start drinking.
- synced and corrected by hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com -